How to Make Friends as a New Mom When You Have Social Anxiety

Being a new mom is a journey filled with many emotions. Alongside the sleepless nights and long days, there's a whole new world of relationships and friendships to figure out. Having friends who are also moms can be a huge help. They understand the worry, the exhaustion, and those little daily wins because they’re going through it too. That kind of shared experience builds a level of comfort and understanding that’s hard to find elsewhere.

But if you live with social anxiety, making friends might feel more stressful than exciting. Even thinking about how to start a conversation can bring up fear or self-doubt. Past awkward moments might pop into your mind, making things feel even harder. If this sounds familiar, you're not alone. Let’s take a look at why these friendships matter and what you can do to make pursuing them feel easier and more natural.

The Importance of Mom Friends

Friends who are also moms will “get it” like few others can. They’ve been there. They’re still there. And they know what this season of life feels like. That kind of mutual understanding can be comforting when you're feeling unsure or overwhelmed.

- Emotional support: Being able to share how you’re feeling with someone who really understands can be powerful. You don’t have to explain much because they already know what day-to-day life looks like.

- Shared activities: Going for walks at a local park, grabbing coffee, or attending a mom group together can be a fun way to connect and strengthen those friendships.

- Feeling less alone: Isolation is a tough part of this phase for many new moms. Having someone to talk to, text, or even sit in silence with can help break that sense of being alone.

Making these connections helps you feel more grounded. You start realizing that others have the same questions, doubts, and joys. And that shared space becomes a source of relief and reassurance.

Challenges in Making and Maintaining Mom Friends

Even though mom friends can bring comfort and support, making these connections isn’t always easy. Life gets busy fast and trying to manage social situations can bring up all kinds of anxiety.

Time is a big issue. Between appointments, daily responsibilities, and personal commitments, it can feel like there’s not much room to squeeze in social time. And when social anxiety is already in the mix, that pressure to make time can feel overwhelming.

There's also the fear of judgment. Maybe you're afraid of saying something wrong or being misunderstood. Maybe you worry about not fitting in. Those feelings can make it easier to stay home and avoid interactions altogether.

Parenting responsibilities might add to this. Planning around naps, meals, or schedules can feel exhausting. So when you look at your day, connecting with someone might seem like one more thing on an already full list.

All of this makes it totally understandable why building friendships could feel tough. But even with these challenges, small steps can still lead to meaningful change.

Practical Tips for Making Mom Friends

Start where you are. Making one connection at a time is more than enough. Here are some easy ways to begin:

1. Join local mom groups: Check out Facebook groups for moms in your neighborhood or city. Once you join, attend one of their events. You’ll find others looking to build friendships too.

2. Go to community events: Local libraries often hold storytime sessions or community meetups. These are relaxed environments that make it easier to meet new people naturally.

3. Keep it simple: If the idea of small talk stresses you out, try a simple, friendly approach. “Hi, I’m [Your Name]. I saw you at a few of the events and wanted to say hello.” That’s enough to start a connection.

4. Stick with it: It may feel awkward at first, but the more often you show up, the easier the next conversation becomes. Seeing the same faces helps build trust and familiarity.

5. Use familiar places: Parks, coffee shops, or fitness classes can be easier spots to make casual contact. You might comment on the weather, ask if someone’s been there before, or say something about what you both have in common in that moment.

You don’t have to perfect every interaction. One exchange at a time is all it takes to start building friendships that last.

How Therapy Can Help with Social Anxiety

Therapy can offer steady, non-judgmental support as you work through social anxiety. If you’ve been feeling nervous or overwhelmed about any type of social interaction, therapy offers tools that can help.

Cognitive-behavioral therapy, or CBT, is especially useful. It helps you become more aware of the thoughts that trigger anxiety, and it teaches you to change unhelpful thought patterns into ones that support confidence and calm.

Therapists might also practice real-life situations with you. This could be small role-play simulations, coaching sessions about how to answer or ask questions, or just talking through experiences that felt tough. All of this helps lower the tension you might feel before or during social moments.

Therapy also gives you space to talk honestly about what you’re feeling, without pressure. That safe place lets you process emotions and find ways to move forward that actually work for you.

Finding Support and Building Confidence

Building confidence comes with time and experience. Every moment where you introduce yourself or say hi is progress. Even if the interaction feels small, it still counts.

Celebrate those little wins. Maybe you made eye contact and smiled. Maybe you replied to someone’s comment in a group. Those moments mean you showed up, and sometimes that's the hardest part.

A therapist can help cheer you on through these victories, and offer meaningful encouragement when you hit walls. They’ll help you see not only where you’re growing, but how to keep moving forward one step at a time.

Being kind to yourself matters here. New friendships don’t happen overnight, but your willingness to try is what will help them form.

Taking the First Step Toward Friendship

Forming mom friendships takes time, but they make a big difference. Building a circle of people who know what you're going through can offer comfort, laughter, and much-needed support.

If social anxiety is getting in the way, know there are real ways to work through it. You don’t have to force yourself into big social plans. Just one Hello at an event or a new message in a local Facebook group is enough to begin. Being consistent helps those relationships grow into something that feels natural and fulfilling.

You deserve support that reflects your needs at this moment in life. When you feel ready, take that first small step. Someone else out there is likely waiting to connect, just like you.

Having friends who are also moms means having someone who gets it—someone who understands the stage of life you're in without needing an explanation. Still, things like anxiety, fear of rejection, or just not knowing where to start can make it tough to connect.

If this sounds familiar, therapy can help. Exploring anxiety disorder treatment in California can give you the tools to feel more comfortable meeting new people and building connections. Azra A. Kim, LCSW, LMSW, is here to support you in taking those first steps with more confidence.